I don’t know about you, but I compare myself to others at least ten times a day. I measure my own “success” constantly, against everything and everyone, from professional bloggers and their beautiful (but curated) Instagram accounts, to my very own friends and colleagues who I love and who I respect. Often I feel like I’m not achieving enough, that I’m not making progress on my dreams and aspirations and goals, that everyone else is miles ahead of me in this race we call life, a life I don’t want to disappear in the blink of an eye, on which at the end I look back on and whisper, “I wish…”
This time last year I refocused my energy. I took a step back and – at the risk of being made an outcast – said no to some things and yes to very little. It worked for a while, avoiding the froth around the reality of life, but now I find myself back where I started, where I’m dashing here, there and everywhere (literally, to the other side of the world) for work on top of work on top of work, leaving little time for what is special. Yet again I feel as though my life doesn’t contribute anything to the bigger picture, that I don’t make a difference, that I don’t matter, that I’m here but I’m not here. But I am here, and you’re here, and we do matter. We just need to figure it out. Do we ever? Will we ever?
Now, for me, it’s time to re-adjust, to be a little selfish again. I need to spend time with my most beloved, to run with my dog and try desperately to be friends with my odd little cat. I need – yes, need – to write. I need to do something selfless and yet rewarding. What do you need? Are you getting it?
I’ve decided. I’m going to remind myself every day of what is precious, and really think about why I’m lucky, what I love about life. I’m going to consider what I’d like to achieve each week, or each month, so that by the end of the year I’ll feel that I’ve done something significant, that I’ve made a difference, on even the smallest of scales. On those days that I doubt myself, those weeks when I start to slip backwards into oblivion, I have my tulle skirt – its pinkness and frothiness will act as a beacon of hope and self-belief. It will remind me to get up, get dressed and hold my head up high – because I matter, and we all matter, and ain’t nobody gon’ tell us different.
I’m Wearing: t-shirt, Zara; skirt, ASOS; shoes, Office; sunglasses, Quay Australia; necklace, Azuni.
Do you ever feel like this? Want to do it with me, re-evaluate? If so, please do get in touch and share your thoughts and life lessons with me, or just Tweet me or Snap me for a chat. We can – we have to – lift each other up.
Images: Kris Miller
I love this post and the skirt. You are loved and cherished by so many people because you shine both inside and outside. You are kind and loving, care about everyone. You have achieved so much, it’s no mean feat to work, blog, travel, look after a home and still find time for loved ones and friends. You are an inspiration and my heart lifts when I see what a beautiful human being you are. Never underestimate yourself.
Author 10th May 2016 / 20:16
Thank you so much FG, this means lots. Xx
I really needed to read this. I can relate to this so much. How honest and beautifully written. ❤️
Author 10th May 2016 / 20:17
Thank you, Julie. It’s important to be honest with ourselves and with each other. We are all trying to do too much, to be everything. Xx
Sounds just the thing to me! Might try for that myself!
Author 10th May 2016 / 20:17
I do compare myself too, not with bloggers-because I understand the difference between me and a blogger with an entire team helping him/her-but with scientists. And it’s killing me!
There are so many times I have to remind myself that professor A. is so good and has an x amount of publications because he is also so much older than me. There are mornings I wake up and feel so stupid but then I remind myself of all the research I produced so far and it makes me feel better.
Stepping back thinking of who you are, what you want and what you have achieved helps a lot. But chocolate and tutu skirts help even more
Author 10th May 2016 / 20:18
Thanks, I think there are some full time bloggers without the team. It’s not even bloggers, it’s writers who make a living from it…. But the same goes for scientists! As you say, they’ve been working longer etc though having worked in medicine I know how competitive it is! You must believe in yourself and not beat yourself up! Xx
Brilliant and inspiring, thank you for the breath of fresh air that is this post. I too have spent about two years reinventing things I ‘need’ to do and making them work for me so they are no longer chores. Success should be measured in happiness, that is what I will teach my children. It is not about how many fake friends we have (often with agenda’s) how much money we make, how cool our social media lives seem. No, it is about doing everything that makes you happy, things that keep your children inspired and you loved ones close. Not always easy, but very rewarding!
Author 10th May 2016 / 20:19
Well said El! And a great way to teach the kids. You are brilliant! Xxx
Love this. U definitely do matter Christina. Xx xx
Author 10th May 2016 / 20:19
As long as I matter to the ones who count xxx
This post has really touched me. I currently suffer from a chronic health condition and cannot work. I am always feeling like a failure and it is really hard to motivate myself. But I have been linking up with people online and reading lots of different things like your blog and they are making me start to re-focus. It is great to know that not everyone else has a ‘perfect’ life as it would seem online and that other people struggle with finding themselves, their passions and meaning in their life. Great post – keep blogging and instagramming. sarah x
Author 27th July 2016 / 12:10
I really appreciate you taking the time to comment here. I’m glad you liked this post – we all feel it in some way, and everything is relevant to our own lives. It’s hard not to feel inadequate or like we’re underachieving when we constantly compare ourselves to what is presented to us online. It’s the edited version of life and we must remember that.
If you’re enjoying reading blogs, and networking with people, why not start a blog of your own? Or just start writing for yourself and see what happens?
Stay in touch.